Sunday, April 11, 2010

In convenient stores

I feel like every time I walk to Walgreen's I get a percentage of a story. A tidbit to hold onto, but maybe not quite enough to satisfy on it's own. Well today I'm stitching it together folks. Bare with me....

My Walgreen's runs are always done by foot, slow feet. More of a walk actually. It's three blocks that I can't commit my car to. Sometimes that trip is an errand for the sake of fresh air. I can convince myself the bottle of body wash is running low because of the temperature outdoors. Today the sun did not use my last square of toilet paper. That was me and me alone. But I'll take the sun's company on my journey to replenish.

As per usual, I pass the pink house with the high wooden gate. I smell the cigarettes this time before the dogs. Two scents that I can count on. Hand in hand, I can count on my reactionary thoughts of disgust as I pass. I remember to exhale as I crossed their lot. Luckily, the screen door remained closed today. The wire meshing holding back as much of the stink as it possibly can. It's a big job.

I bee-lined when I entered the store. I didn't get the chance to spot the young girl considering pregnancy tests or the older lady looking for maximum absorbency. Not this time. I go straight to the paper goods aisles. I feel like the urgency of the toilet paper directly influences the restocking quantity. Somehow knowing I'm planning ahead keeps me to the 4 -6 roll bundles. But when I used up the glue filled last sheet (didn't have to go for the Kleenex or paper towel though!) my rationale goes polar. I remember how annoying it is to be 'one-squared' and I want to prevent this feeling for as long as possible.

Hello 24 pack!

On my way up front I cave at the sight of peanut butter M'n'Ms. I give my usual glance towards cosmetics and photo. Hoping to skip the perpetually annoying line at the main registers. No luck. I'm not really sure why this is my least favorite line to be in.

The teller gives me a bag that is to large for the MnM's but not big enough for my super-sized sanitation. Mind you ... I am walking here and will be braving the next three blocks with a sign over my head that says "Just Dripped-Dry".

The Walgreen's parking lot is tidbit in and of itself. Aside from the obvious oblivious drivers. Passing these cars in slow motion stride, I have come to learn a secret to having a successful relationship. That secret is to never go to a Walgreen's with your spouse. Household/personal needs should be acquired independently on all accounts. Particularly true if the larger family is involved. Literally every time I set foot on this asphalt I find my attention drawn to the one black SUV, man in the driver's seat, woman climbing out of the passenger side with something to say and she means it. I wonder how many marriages have ended in Walgreen's parking lots. For the sake of love ... buy your prescriptions privately people!

I make it out of the parking lot unfrazzeled this time, only to see a familiar body on a familiar skateboard rolling my way. I haven't showered since Saturday morning (I think?). I just got home from an eight hour carpentry load-in. When I saw him, I stopped digging the sawdust from my fingernails.

Coincidences are rarely attractive, hey? I moved out of my MPLS relationship into my single St. Paul life and I didn't expect the second half of that relationship to head east over the Mississippi as well. Specifically 1.5 blocks east of my bachelorette pad. But somehow I have avoided this face to face run in for two years. Until today... dirty, greasy, ass-tired and holding a JUMBOTRON toilet paper.

Continued with awkward exchange.

Closing remark while eyeing my package ...
"Well, I'll let you get home to clean yourself up"

I decided not to mention where the peanut butter MnM's would inevitable lead.

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