Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Doctor is In

As I type this I hear a Mark Ronson remix. The lyrics:

"Stop me, Oh oh oh, stop me. Stop if you think that you heard this one before."

Well, too bad suckers! Most of you have heard my 'good' stories, but my good 'told in person' stories can't even touch my writing capabilities.

Whoa, I found an ego there for a minute. Awesome.

Some day I want to get around to writing down my experience over the last month about changing jobs and yada yada. People only sorta know my deal. But I don't feel like doing that today. Instead I have a St. Paul Chamber Orchestra memory that I need immortalized in word.

My previous job description itemized a list of essential qualifications. After the requirements of being just plain awesome, one bullet point reads:
  • Ability to work in a high pressure environment.
It's a common asset amidst my field. I'm pretty sure those words are repeated in the job descriptions within the live performance industry.

That qualification voices warning that things will get a little (who am I kidding?) a lot stressful. The problem with that line item is that it decrees that you are willing to put yourself there, not that you can handle that stress well. Everyone survives the pressure cooker differently. But I fully believe that to successfully work among the stress, you've got to bring a side of humor or it will eat you alive.

Enter Doctor Evil.

The mad scientist from the Austin Powers movies with all his bald-headed, pinky-tasting, MiniMe-having, 'One Million Dollars' saying glory. Somehow this unlikely character found it's way into the backstage of SPCO. The life sized likeness usually lives in the vestibule between backstage and onstage. Giving surprising chuckles to all that enter.

Most days Dr. Evil is kept to welcoming duty. Some days ... life for this cardboard cutout is a lot more fun.

Over the last four years the orchestra stage manager and myself have turned to the Doctor when the emotional winding gets tight.

Dr. Evil has hung from the ceiling. Peeked out behind acoustic curtains. He's worn Halloween masks. And carried signs of info for the musicians. My favorite moments took advantage of our video feed. We have a camcorder in the Music Room so people throughout the office can keep track of rehearsals via TV monitors (this also gives them to ability to watch me dance as I mop the audience risers, oh yeah and me picking my butt when I think I'm alone).

Some days a staff member in Operations might hit the power button and be faced with 1/4 Dr. Evil's face and 3/4 world class musicianship. We became masters of the silver screen. Sometimes we would throw a little uplite on the life sized. Other times we would rig up a side-entry Dr. Evil head. The longitudinal float.


Holidazzle Dr. Evil broad casted all SPCO TVs. I mean all! For this one we made a point to turn on every existing TV within the building. That included our President's office, the large conference room and the very public ticketing lobby. Amusements free of charge to unsuspecting patrons. He was once again situated in front of the orchestra but this time lit in Christmas appropriate red.

Dr. Evil has been a four year long joke. One that we've gotten exceptionally good at. I've witnessed every reaction to his existence. The startle and the giggle from the high school kids our players coach to the walker-ridden patrons that need the backstage ramp to make it to their audience seats. I've seen the biggest, hardest stagehands scream like little girls when it surprises them in the dark. I have witnessed it being planted for jokes and then the planter forgets their own planting and ends up pranking the prankster.

So many laughs. I couldn't let that humor die with my departure.

Long live the legacy.

At the time of mocking this up on my last day (Thanks Aimee for your help with the 8am photoshoot!), I did not consider the association of making myself into Dr. Evil during my rapid departure. I've come to terms with that implication for the sake of humor.

Adios SPCO!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Mom said more...









Yeah, I'm sick of flowers too. Just you wait for Montreal...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Spring Has Sprung!

First couple on the new camera...







I'm loving having control again!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Lost and Found

Oh good! I found myself.

I was lost there for a second. Lost in a pile of words I shouldn't have been mixed up in. Lost in yuck!

Instantly this fresh air changes my direction. I'm on a better path as I write this ... one that leads to a better disposition.

Indoors, with those words, my lungs collapsed with feeling. Out here, the wind fills my empty chest. I can breathe again. With ease. And I know nature won't let my lungs deflate this time. The air goes in with power. It's impossible to forget my next breathe out here.

The blur I saw the world with indoors has sharpened. My eyes are too busy watching the happiness of the kids in this park. The green of my eyes hold true. They don't have time to well up in wetness. Instead my sight bounces from childhood memory to childhood memory. Making memories before me and recollecting memories before now.

My heart has warmed considerably by the sun. Penetrating my skin and making me love this crazy life.

My mood is so easy when all I have to do is go outside.

Glad I found me again.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

In convenient stores

I feel like every time I walk to Walgreen's I get a percentage of a story. A tidbit to hold onto, but maybe not quite enough to satisfy on it's own. Well today I'm stitching it together folks. Bare with me....

My Walgreen's runs are always done by foot, slow feet. More of a walk actually. It's three blocks that I can't commit my car to. Sometimes that trip is an errand for the sake of fresh air. I can convince myself the bottle of body wash is running low because of the temperature outdoors. Today the sun did not use my last square of toilet paper. That was me and me alone. But I'll take the sun's company on my journey to replenish.

As per usual, I pass the pink house with the high wooden gate. I smell the cigarettes this time before the dogs. Two scents that I can count on. Hand in hand, I can count on my reactionary thoughts of disgust as I pass. I remember to exhale as I crossed their lot. Luckily, the screen door remained closed today. The wire meshing holding back as much of the stink as it possibly can. It's a big job.

I bee-lined when I entered the store. I didn't get the chance to spot the young girl considering pregnancy tests or the older lady looking for maximum absorbency. Not this time. I go straight to the paper goods aisles. I feel like the urgency of the toilet paper directly influences the restocking quantity. Somehow knowing I'm planning ahead keeps me to the 4 -6 roll bundles. But when I used up the glue filled last sheet (didn't have to go for the Kleenex or paper towel though!) my rationale goes polar. I remember how annoying it is to be 'one-squared' and I want to prevent this feeling for as long as possible.

Hello 24 pack!

On my way up front I cave at the sight of peanut butter M'n'Ms. I give my usual glance towards cosmetics and photo. Hoping to skip the perpetually annoying line at the main registers. No luck. I'm not really sure why this is my least favorite line to be in.

The teller gives me a bag that is to large for the MnM's but not big enough for my super-sized sanitation. Mind you ... I am walking here and will be braving the next three blocks with a sign over my head that says "Just Dripped-Dry".

The Walgreen's parking lot is tidbit in and of itself. Aside from the obvious oblivious drivers. Passing these cars in slow motion stride, I have come to learn a secret to having a successful relationship. That secret is to never go to a Walgreen's with your spouse. Household/personal needs should be acquired independently on all accounts. Particularly true if the larger family is involved. Literally every time I set foot on this asphalt I find my attention drawn to the one black SUV, man in the driver's seat, woman climbing out of the passenger side with something to say and she means it. I wonder how many marriages have ended in Walgreen's parking lots. For the sake of love ... buy your prescriptions privately people!

I make it out of the parking lot unfrazzeled this time, only to see a familiar body on a familiar skateboard rolling my way. I haven't showered since Saturday morning (I think?). I just got home from an eight hour carpentry load-in. When I saw him, I stopped digging the sawdust from my fingernails.

Coincidences are rarely attractive, hey? I moved out of my MPLS relationship into my single St. Paul life and I didn't expect the second half of that relationship to head east over the Mississippi as well. Specifically 1.5 blocks east of my bachelorette pad. But somehow I have avoided this face to face run in for two years. Until today... dirty, greasy, ass-tired and holding a JUMBOTRON toilet paper.

Continued with awkward exchange.

Closing remark while eyeing my package ...
"Well, I'll let you get home to clean yourself up"

I decided not to mention where the peanut butter MnM's would inevitable lead.